by anesamiller_wuhi6k | May 5, 2015 | Blog, National Foster Care Month
May is National Foster Care Month, a time to give some thought to the generous efforts of all of those doing their best to help children whose home and family life has suffered disruption. Coming to understand the demands of foster care has played a major role in my writing life. In gratitude to those who helped me learn, I’ll be sharing information on this topic throughout the month of May.
In a work of fiction like Our Orbit, it’s easy to gloss over the many aspects of a complex project like preparing the kids already in your home for the arrival of a new sibling. This will be true whether the newcomer is biological or fostered.
How well does Deanne Fletcher handle the task?
From Our Orbit—
Next morning, Rick was off to work at quarter to seven. At seven-thirty, regular as clockwork, Deanne heard Kayla singing in bed, then Chad began to stir in his crib. Twenty minutes later, they were drinking juice at the kitchen table, while Deanne explained that their new sister would arrive that afternoon. An older sister.
Mother knows best?
“No baby?” Chad said, in his not-yet-two-year-old way.
“No, but this girl needs a place to live right away. She needs a home where people will look after her and treat her like family. We can do that no matter how old she is, can’t we?”
“If she’s big, she can’t come from your tummy,” Kayla said.
“That’s right.” Deanne laughed. “She’ll be a ‘visiting sister.’ Remember how Daddy explained it?”
“She won’t belong to us forever?”
“That’s right. But while she’s here, we’ll treat her just the same as if she would.”
♥ ♥ ♥
A snap, right? True, a novel isn’t expected to serve as a how-to book. So in the interest of offering useful information, here’s an item from the website of the Coalition for Children, Youth & Families that clearly states all the things Deanne was probably keeping in mind—
Tip Sheet Tuesday: Preparing the Kids in Your Home for Fostering
Not only do parents make adjustments in their lives when a child in care enters their home, the children in the house are in 
for changes too . . . big changes! It doesn’t matter if they are born or adopted into the family or are currently in foster care. Adjustments come easily for some—they move over at the table, know they will have to share your time and smile—while others are still processing the changes they had to make well into adulthood.
Humor and Insight
One Wisconsin dad, with humor and insight, tells a story about his nine-year-old son. On the evening that he and his wife were going to foster parenting classes, his son said, “Dad, so you and Mom are going to be gone all night and neglecting me all evening so that you can learn how to care for other kids you’re going to bring into our house?”
This wise father knows that his son anticipates making some big changes and is probably fearing it. It’s the savvy parent who knows that the whole family will be making changes.
On the other hand, some birth children take fostering and adopting for granted. They are in a position to appreciate what their parents are doing and feel part of it. They learn their new dances in the family circle.
One woman who grew up with biological, adopted and foster siblings says, “I think I lived in my own bubble all my life. The kids who came were almost all younger than me, so I didn’t have to compete with them for anything, other than the bathroom. But that was just normal.”
She goes on to say, “I was old enough to understand the basics of foster care, so the comings and goings weren’t a big deal either. Growing up in a foster home is what it is—it’s hard to describe unless you have lived another way to compare it to something.”
Both reactions are valid. Be open to any reactions your kids may have and have some tools ready to help the family expand.
To continue reading on the website of the Coalition for Children, Youth & Families, click here.
Thank you for learning about issues involved in foster care! For additional information—
Visit the official site of National Foster Care Month 2015. That’s right now!
Visit the National Foster Parent Association.
And feel free to share your insights in the “Comments” section below.
by anesamiller_wuhi6k | Apr 27, 2015 | Blog, Foster Care, National Foster Care Month, OMG—It's CELEBRITIES!
Can you ever have too much star power?
Readers of Our Orbit know that the topic of foster care plays a major role in the plot and the lives of all the characters. To honor everyone who helped me learn and write about this system of neighborly care, I will be posting on this topic for the next several weeks.
We start on a light note, with this addition to the series OMG – It’s CELEBRITIES! Rick and Deanne Fletcher, the young couple who become foster mom and dad to 9-year-old Miriam Winslow after her father’s arrest —
Rick & Deanne: “Ideal foster parents”
Not the meatiest roles?
As you may know, Our Orbit features a number of meaty roles that actors are sure to enjoy: an alcoholic 14-year-old, closeted aunts and uncles, men whose masculinity is dangerously entangled with religious devotion and resistance to authority. So at first glance, the parts of Rick and Deanne Fletcher may not seem like the best in the book.
Born and raised in small-town Ohio, Rick and Deanne meet at the local liberal arts college. They get married as soon as he graduates and finds work teaching chemistry at a rural high school. Deanne teaches kindergarten, then works as a substitute when the babies begin to arrive. Rick’s family boasts a small claim to urban sophistication, coming from the regional hub of Cincinnati, while Deanne grew up on a farm that her family has proudly held for over a century.
A kindly face of authority
By their mid-20s, the couple has a mortgage and two children. Already eager for a third baby, they decide to look into foster care as a way to grow their family while limiting the financial strain. (Maybe not the best reason to do a good thing? You be the judge.) In short, Rick and Deanne are both traditionalists with slightly left-of-center political views. Oh—! and Rick has now been promoted to Assistant Principal of the high school, so he is an official member of the local establishment.
Not necessarily the sexiest roles, these are, nonetheless, central characters that in movie parlance (Watch me pretend I speak it!) must be considered the male and female leads. I need consummate talent to render their authenticity without letting too many hints of stuffiness, much less irony, slip in.
My first thought was the brilliant German-Irish actor Michael Fassbender as Rick, and undisputed genius Jessica Chastain as Deanne. Both come laden with enough awards and nominations to daunt a stout mule.
Since his bone-chilling portrayals of a diehard Confederate racist in Twelve Years a Slave and an amoral lawyer casually consorting with drug kingpins in The Counselor, no one could doubt that Fassbender has talent to burn. His action and fantasy experience attest to range, while Shakespearean roles demonstrate the respect he has earned.
Quite aside from her austere, award-winning role in Zero Dark Thirty, Chastain has shown that she can breathe convincing nuance into maternal roles in Tree of Life and The Color of Time. Even her portrayal of the ditsy Celia Foote in The Help redounds to Deanne’s credit—both are country girls who confront the often constricting demands of rural society. (As a recovering Russian Studies instructor, I’m especially thrilled that Chastain appeared in a festival production of Chekhov’s The Cherry Orchard—more small-town chops.)
Any idea how I can get these folks to show up for a casting call?
Actually, although Fassbender and Chastain are clearly big-screen magic, maybe I don’t need quite so much star power. Actors a bit less blinding with renown could find a way to shine in these modest-seeming roles.
So then, like a real-life Casting Director, I browsed some headshots and experienced an epiphany when I saw Matthew Morrison posing by an institutional-looking brick wall! Who knows more about playing a high school teacher confronted with mega-challenges than the star of the hit TV show Glee?
Homeboy!
True, Mr. Schuester slips in and out of conventional character with ease amid Glee’s meta commentaries and fantastical elements. Not much of that in OO, I’m afraid. But with several awards to his credit, there’s no question that Morrison possesses the skill to head up a dramatic cast, hands tied behind his back. (Which we might need to do: Sorry, Matt—no singing or dancing.)
And as Deanne? How about the irresistible Michelle Williams?
Sweetheart Next-Door
She did motherhood in her multiple award-winning role in Blue Valentine (though, admittedly, that is a tortured and hence perhaps less challenging take on maternity than the unruffled Deanne Fletcher). And as Norma Jean turned Marilyn Monroe, Michelle embodies the sweetheart next-door with endearing ease.
So hey, kids— It’s a definite maybe! I’ll call you as soon as the funding comes together. And even though we now take a pause on the CELEBRITY trail, a few biggies remain to come, later this summer: patriarch Levi Winslow, his wife Emaline, and sister-in-law Aunt Melanie.
Thanks for joining my fantasy. I’ve had good fun. And I think it’s proof that I can dream—can’t I?
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Kudos for visiting my blog today! Check out the website and let me know if you like what you see, or if you have suggestions. You can reach me by leaving a comment in the box below or by clicking the Contact link at upper right (or just click here). Please consider subscribing to my blog or newsletter. And stop by again soon!
by anesamiller_wuhi6k | Nov 17, 2014 | Blog, Letters from Miriam
Dear Mrs. Miller,
Many people ask about my sister Rachelle. In a nutshell, she is doing okay after two divorces, although she still has no children. As you know, she is 5 years older than me, and I think that worked against her in a bad way when our family broke up. I was still little enough to fly under the storm. Everybody felt sorry for me and wanted to help, and I was innocent enough—if I may say so myself—to accept kindness at face value. I realize now, that was lucky for me.
It was different when Rachelle came along. People would react with, “Who needs this sneering teenager?” Or even if they didn’t, even if they wanted to be nice, she was always suspicious of outsiders. We had a very closed-off kind of upbringing, and even though Rachelle tried to reject it, that mentality made its mark on her, I think.
And even among our relatives (or especially among them), people tended to look at Rachelle and say, “Oh good—here’s our new cook and housekeeper.” So I must admit, she had a “tough row to hoe,” as the saying goes.
Way back when I was little, Rachelle was my favorite person in the world, or at least a very close second after Momma. She was a wonderful sister right up until she turned 13. Then she became a different person overnight. Wanted nothing more to do with family. Out with friends all the time. And she refused to account for where she went or who she spent time with. If she did say anything, it was bound to be a lie.
This is why it didn’t come as such a shock when I learned that my beloved sister had gotten an abortion. I mean, it did bowl me over, and I needed to put it completely out of my mind for a long time. But somehow, knowing that she could reject our whole family like she did, it wasn’t so surprising to hear that she had gone the extra step and “killed her own baby.”
Is that unfair? I know I can be harsh toward Rachelle because of how she let me down as a kid. But I remember that she was a kid herself when she got pregnant, and I realize now how easy that can happen by accident. Or by stupidity, or by fooling yourself, or getting carried away with your own feelings.
Nowadays we all know where babies come from, but that doesn’t mean we connect sex with the job-for-life of becoming a parent.
So I try not to judge my sister. I’ve made a law for myself never to talk to her about what she did. In my heart I know it was wrong. It’s one sin I swear I will never commit. And that leaves a coldness between the two of us, even though I don’t come out and blame her to her face.
Am I still too harsh on Rachelle? I don’t know how to melt that cold spot in my heart.
Your friend,
Miriam
P.S. Yes, once again, please share this on your blog if you care to. As personal as this material might be, I’ve reached a place in my life where I’m eager to grow in understanding based on the experience of others.
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Miriam Winslow is a fictional character, but many readers have taken an interest is her possible future. Information on her background may be found in the novel Our Orbit by Anesa Miller. You are invited to explore Miriam’s past adventures and help create her future on this blog under “Letters from Miriam.”
by anesamiller_wuhi6k | Nov 3, 2014 | Events
Doing an interview with Sage was the greatest fun I’d had in weeks!
Before calling to talk with her, I was feeling very nervous, my usual shy and retiring self, wondering why anyone would be interested in me. But no sooner did we get on the line than she put me at ease and I found I had no trouble holding forth on various writerly topics. The next time I glanced at the clock, our half-hour had flown by. Have a listen and tell me what you think!
Check Out Writing Podcasts at Blog Talk Radio with
Sages Blog Tours on BlogTalkRadio
by anesamiller_wuhi6k | Jul 28, 2014 | Blog, Series: Drawer no more!
Part 1
I suspect I’m not the only one who has mixed feelings about Kirkus Reviews. Specifically, their practice of charging independent authors $425 for a “book review” of 400 words or less. Many have suggested that such services are not only overpriced but also pointless for the majority of authors whose readership couldn’t care less about endorsements (or lack thereof) from an 80-year-old magazine. But I write literary fiction, which means my readers tend to count themselves among the discerning crowd, rightly or wrongly, and here Kirkus enjoys a good deal of prestige.
Cover design by Renee Garcia
Besides, I thought, Our Orbit is not only the culmination of many years’ work on my part. It really is a good novel! It deserves the attention of a professional. Kirkus states that their commentaries are thoughtfully penned by “librarians, business executives, journalists from national publications, PhDs in religion and literature…[and] other professional reviewers.”
What’s more, they followed me wherever I went! Not PhDs and professionals (unfortunately) but Kirkus Reviews. Their banner ads pop up at Salon.com, Poets & Writers, The NYT—every bookish site I frequent. You would almost think they were targeting me (lol—I know they were), claiming that they’d consider my book for some major award if only I bought a review. Long story just a bit shorter, I succumbed to seduction. Guess they somehow knew it’s been my lifelong dream to sell books beyond the circle of my personal acquaintance.
And surely a national-level review could only help.
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Through 4th of July, 2015 – Join a great GIVEAWAY to celebrate my new novel! Many prizes – gift cards, crafts & a signed copy of OUR ORBIT, finalist for “Best Regional Fiction” Click here to join !
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I knew that Kirkus is notorious for producing harsh reviews. But the “kill clause” put me at ease: If they panned my book, at least they offered the option of keeping it in the dark. So long as I opted not to quote any portion of the review on my website, back cover, or any public place, the review as a whole would remain unpublished forever. Of course, I would be down $425, but my book would not suffer. And since I felt confident that Our Orbit could withstand even a snarky reviewer, I chose to gamble.
So began the proverbial crap-shoot, like so many of the services on offer for writers today, which might or might not help sell a single book.
Some five weeks later, with quaking fingertips, I eagerly downloaded my very own review from Kirkus, the venerable authority. One minute later, dismay set in. That’s how long it took to read the 348 words my reviewer saw fit to devote to my novel. But wait! 89 of those were actually my words, quoted from my own book! Unnecessarily, it seemed to me: Quoted like a freshman English student dutifully includes a citation in a book report. So my review came in at just 263 original words. About a buck-80 per word.
What did they say, those precious bon mots?
Typically, for Kirkus, there was a 2-line plot summation, followed by a paragraph of more detailed plot summary. Perhaps readers look for this, but it wasn’t useful to me since I had, naturally, already created my own synopsis. Next came another brief paragraph, heavy on the above-mentioned quotations, giving yet more details on the characters
The review closed with one brief sentence—9 words—that might be worth quoting on my book cover or elsewhere. But in order to use those few words, I would have to agree for them to publish the entire review on their website, if they chose, as per the Kirkus policy.
And there’s the rub.
Because in that second paragraph detailing my characters, the reviewer decided to drop a major spoiler. If this were part of a serious discussion, I might decide the revelation was worthwhile. But instead, it was tossed off in passing, making no real point. To use any part of the review I paid for, I would have to consent to unknown numbers of potential readers encountering a spoiler that does nothing to enhance the commentary on my book.
Thanks for nothing, Kirkus!
To Kirkus or not to Kikus? Part 2
In fairness to Kirkus Reviews, I’ll readily admit that they have some fine employees. When I wrote to express my disappointment with the review I’d purchased of my novel, Our Orbit, I was surprised to encounter a very helpful young man. I assume he was young since he was working as a first-line responder to email inquiries like mine. I’ll call him Thad.
Among Thad’s helpful reminders was this: “Our reviews are required to meet a minimum word count of 250 words.” So at 348 words, my review was laden with gravy.
Point taken, Thad…although nearly 100 of those words were mine rather than the reviewer’s—quotations from Our Orbit padding the lukewarm remarks.
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Through 4th of July, 2015 – Join a great GIVEAWAY to celebrate my new novel! Many prizes – gift cards, crafts & a signed copy of OUR ORBIT, finalist for “Best Regional Fiction” Click here to join !
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Nonetheless, in spite of my jaundiced attitude, I was impressed when Thad stated that he would, “present your concerns to our editors.” After all, my primary complaint was that the review I’d bought so dearly contained a spoiler revealing a major plot point. I felt this made the whole thing unusable due to Kirkus’s policy requiring permission to publish the complete review if the buyer quotes so much as one phrase (which is, of course, the whole purpose in purchasing).
So I pricked up my ears when Thad suggested that senior editors might actually consider the issues I’d raised and offer some solution. Three weeks went by without further word. When I wrote again to ask Thad if I should expect a reply, his answer came the next day:
“The Indie Editors … have decided that we cannot alter the review. It is Kirkus Indie’s policy to only address those matters related to factual inaccuracies …
“Regarding the point about the [spoiler], very often our reviewers are not able to elaborate on each and every plot point found in a given work… However, they must inform a reader of certain points… We do understand your frustration and disappointment, but we have certain editorial guidelines that we follow.”
Do I detect a bit of circular reasoning? Kirkus reviewers cannot elaborate every plot point, but they must inform readers about certain points. And just because I withheld a plot twist until page 191, treating it as an elaborate family secret, that was apparently no reason for them to select some other point to elaborate for those demanding readers.
Hmmm…
…Much ado about very little? Are spoilers such a serious thing?
Okay, okay. As friends have assured me, I’m making much ado about very little. Are spoilers such a serious thing? Goodreads.com accommodates spoiler alerts on reader reviews, but Amazon has discontinued that practice. Even if an author objects to revealing statements in a review, Amazon will do nothing to post an alert. (Guess how I know.)
Moreover, millions of people know how such books as To Kill A Mockingbird and The Great Gatsby turn out. Or Gone Girl or The Secret History or The Hunger Games. And that does nothing to keep new readers away. So, yes—I’m overreacting. I should be so lucky as to have fans clamoring over Our Orbit, discussing the plot twists and characters, accidentally spilling the beans about what happens on page 191.
Maybe I’ll go ahead and put that brief, mildly flattering, quote from my Kirkus review on the back cover of my book. Maybe I’ll even publish it here on my blog.
If Kirkus responds by putting up the full review, complete with spoiler, in some obscure corner of their website—so much the better. If one or two people stumble upon it and find the secret—don’t tell anybody, please?
And thank you, Thad, for making an effort to talk to those scrupulous “Indie Editors” on my behalf.
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In the end, I decided to both quote and publish my review in full. You can read it here along with a far more gratifying (and unpaid) commentary from The Midwest Book Review.
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Through 4th of July, 2015 – Join a great GIVEAWAY to celebrate my new novel! Many prizes – gift cards, crafts & a signed copy of OUR ORBIT, finalist for “Best Regional Fiction” ! ! ! Click here to join !
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Many thanks for visiting my blog today! Please browse the website and let me know if you like what you see, or if you have suggestions. You can reach me by leaving a comment in the box below or by clicking the Contact link at upper right (or just click here). Consider subscribing to my blog or newsletter. And stop by again soon!
for changes too . . . big changes! It doesn’t matter if they are born or adopted into the family or are currently in foster care. Adjustments come easily for some—they move over at the table, know they will have to share your time and smile—while others are still processing the changes they had to make well into adulthood.
