Dear Mrs. Miller,
I hope you are enjoying good health as you live the life of an author. Much has changed for me since the events you describe in the book Our Orbit. I am hoping you won’t mind me getting in touch. I thought you might like to know that, in spite of everything that happened when I was a girl, I turned out alright.
I know that social workers do their best to keep kids from getting bounced from one home to another. Sometimes, it just can’t be helped. When I landed in the Fletchers’ home, I knew I had it good. Not in some cynical way because they had a lot more money than I was used to, but in the way that I knew they were good people. From the first day, I knew they would love me and be kind to me. Even before I arrived to their house, I had the assurance of that. My own spiritual assurance.
It also turned out really good for me to have little kids under me, which I never did have in my own family. A younger brother and sister taught me to be good for more than an abstract reason. I wanted to be their leader for fun & games, but then I realized I also had to teach them to do right and show a fine example. Kayla and Chad – I still think of them all the time. I wanted them to have a good sister, not a sneaky liar like I could have been.
So overall, I’ve come to see the short time I spent with the Fletchers as sort of a golden age. A time of peace between the wars. It was a time when I learned, without realizing at first, that my dad didn’t have the only righteous view of good and bad that could possibly be. My dad was a man who aimed to always be right with God, and I respect that. But how could God want him to be so stubborn that he would break the law and go to prison? Did God want him to leave his children behind when we needed him?
It took me a good long while to realize these things, but it no longer feels like a sin to say that my dad wasn’t right about everything.
In my heart I feel certain that my dad would never have shot anyone. And I don’t believe he wanted his son to do it, either – no matter what the lawyers said at my brother’s trial. But that is beside the point because our daddy collected the guns and kept them hid and that’s what gave Josh so many wrong ideas. Everything took a bad turn from there.
I’ve had my own hard luck with men since I came of age. I seem to wind up with the ones who think they can control everything a woman does, even the thoughts in her head. I’ve got the scars to show for it. Was there something in my childhood that made me prone to this? No woman should blame herself when she becomes a victim. But it’s hard not to wonder if I may have invited the harm in some way… With prayer, I’m healing. Good Lord willing, I may even grow in understanding.
Thanks for reading this and thank you for telling my story.
Your friend,
Miriam
P.S. Yes, please share this on your blog, if you care to. Your readers who know my story (and other stories like mine) might have some good things to say. I will be eager to read any wise advice.
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Miriam Winslow is a fictional character, but many readers have taken an interest is her possible future. Information on her background may be found in the novel Our Orbit by Anesa Miller. You are invited to explore Miriam’s past adventures and help create her future on this blog under “Letters from Miriam.”
Anesa,
One cannot but sympathise with Miriam.
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Her unfortunate circumstances serve only to highlight the personal grief we, and those around us, suffer as we struggle to prevent our lives from crumbling under the weight of so called ‘choice’, ‘freedom’ and ’emancipation’ imposed upon us by a frantic and morally deficient 21st Century. Society and our peers lead us down paths we seem unable to resist and the price we pay can be high.
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Miriam does well to place her trust in the simplicity of faith in God who will surely heal her and lead her to a better understanding than is on offer in today’s secular world.
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This character’s creator, the author, blurs, admirably, the line between ‘fiction’ and ‘reality’, if indeed one exists,through the publication of Letters from Miriam and points up the true purpose of creative writing which is to stimulate the imagination!
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Fred Webster.
Fred! I had no idea you were such an anti-modernist. Or would that be anti-postmodernist? Certainly, the burgeoning population of Planet Earth finds itself scrambling to keep pace with innovations that are often unwanted by many. In OUR ORBIT, however, extreme Luddites like the Winslows (Miriam’s family) learn that resentment of modern ways may lead to more trouble than they’d imagined.
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Nonetheless, I consider myself something of a Luddite and dedicated the title essay of my collection TO BOLDLY GO to this very topic. That gives me an idea–maybe I’ll publish it here on the blog next week or so. You can judge how it comports with your own convictions.
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As ever, many thanks for your visit and remarks!
The more I read of Miriam, and Mark Vanderpool’s immediate comparison to the Ray Rice affair, the more I am convinced that a well drawn fictional character can do as much to raise contemporary issues as that of simple linear story telling or a first person biographical account.
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Incidentally, I may find the epithet of ‘anti post modernist’ or even ‘Luddite’ (I shudder) difficult to live up to. A well thought out, and dare I say it, a well put argument is not to be confused with iron clad opinions and perhaps ought to carry the disclaimer ‘ …the conclusions expressed here do not necessarily reflect the personal opinions of the writer’.
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That was taught me by, guess who? Why, my very own mentor & tutor, of course, with whom I’ve just spent a pleasurable weekend, stuffing ourselves with roast partridge and fine wines, lounging around contradicting one another but all in the best critical fashion as you would expect!
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I am looking forward, hugely, to more ‘Letters from Miriam’ as they are published. It’s a great vehicle. Something else for he and I to discuss before the effect of the that rather good French Brandy he serves sends us wabbling off to our respective hammocks.
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Best wishes as always,
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Fred.
[“I’ve had my own hard luck with men since I came of age. I seem to wind up with the ones who think they can control everything a woman does, even the thoughts in her head. I’ve got the scars to show for it.”]
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This portion of Miriam’s letter makes me think of the Ray Rice Scandal and all the domestic abuse cases tied to pro athletes that have come to light since then.
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College and pro sports are such theaters of adulation in American culture, that it seems we’ve turned out a generation of aggressive man-boys who aren’t challenged to develop themselves outside the limited sphere of athletics. I know that isn’t all of them, of course, but it’s certainly a disquieting percentage. The culture of pro sports may be as much to blame as the individuals.
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More importantly, it sparked a national dialogue about domestic abuse. So many early reactions in social media were flippant toward Janay Rice and her predicament — along the lines of women saying: “I can’t respect any woman who would stay with a man who beats her. Just leave!!” And that basic failure to empathize brought others to the defense, pointing out the complicating factors in the decision to leave or to share blame.
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Sometimes there are economic constraints, sometimes there are children caught in the middle, and with enough strong reasons it’s so easy to buy an abuser’s weeping promise that it will never happen again. Other times, of course, the reasons are even more severe: an abused person may sincerely believes (with reason) that the partner will hunt (him or) her down and kill her for leaving.
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I don’t know which scenarios apply to Miriam in her young adult life, past the years chronicled in Our Orbit, but I’d love to know that she’s developing the inner resolve to keep herself safe and to make better choices.
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Maybe Anesa will let us know what comes next?
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For those interested in the recent public dialogue on domestic abuse, the story of the #whyIstayed hashtag is probably a good place to begin.
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http://www.today.com/news/whyistayed-woman-behind-ray-rice-inspired-hashtag-writes-past-self-1D80139011
Thank you, Mark, for relating this important social topic to my humble fantasy of receiving a letter from the main character of my novel. Anyone who has faced a stubborn problem–how to lose weight or simply stop gaining, how to stop quarreling with a spouse, how to avoid negative thinking–must realize it’s more complicated than “just stop” or “just leave.”
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You might notice that Miriam uses the same words to describe her abusive partner as her sister Rachelle used in talking about their father: “All the better to control every thought in my head.”
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Their father was not physically abusive to his daughters. Indeed, he was a loving father in many ways. So it’s not surprising that Miriam (and perhaps Rachelle as well) would choose a partner who shared some of his traits and reminded her of him. But the desire for control can express itself in a willingness to use physical force.
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Thank you again for stopping by and sharing your comments. I, too, encourage readers to explore the question of #whyIstayed and look beyond the ready, simplistic answers to this dilemma.
Anesa, thank you for sharing this with me. I very much relate to Miriam. Your childhood doesn’t have to be full of physical abuse to end up in an abusive relationship, emotional and verbal damage is still damage.
I’m grateful that you found the blog and stopped by to share your thoughts, Mimi. We can’t always explain the negative things that happen between people, but it’s good to know that we can still connect. Thank you.