Dear Mrs. Miller,
I hope you are enjoying good health as you live the life of an author. Much has changed for me since the events you describe in the book Our Orbit. I am hoping you won’t mind me getting in touch. I thought you might like to know that, in spite of everything that happened when I was a girl, I turned out alright.
I know that social workers do their best to keep kids from getting bounced from one home to another. Sometimes, it just can’t be helped. When I landed in the Fletchers’ home, I knew I had it good. Not in some cynical way because they had a lot more money than I was used to, but in the way that I knew they were good people. From the first day, I knew they would love me and be kind to me. Even before I arrived to their house, I had the assurance of that. My own spiritual assurance.
It also turned out really good for me to have little kids under me, which I never did have in my own family. A younger brother and sister taught me to be good for more than an abstract reason. I wanted to be their leader for fun & games, but then I realized I also had to teach them to do right and show a fine example. Kayla and Chad – I still think of them all the time. I wanted them to have a good sister, not a sneaky liar like I could have been.
So overall, I’ve come to see the short time I spent with the Fletchers as sort of a golden age. A time of peace between the wars. It was a time when I learned, without realizing at first, that my dad didn’t have the only righteous view of good and bad that could possibly be. My dad was a man who aimed to always be right with God, and I respect that. But how could God want him to be so stubborn that he would break the law and go to prison? Did God want him to leave his children behind when we needed him?
It took me a good long while to realize these things, but it no longer feels like a sin to say that my dad wasn’t right about everything.
In my heart I feel certain that my dad would never have shot anyone. And I don’t believe he wanted his son to do it, either – no matter what the lawyers said at my brother’s trial. But that is beside the point because our daddy collected the guns and kept them hid and that’s what gave Josh so many wrong ideas. Everything took a bad turn from there.
I’ve had my own hard luck with men since I came of age. I seem to wind up with the ones who think they can control everything a woman does, even the thoughts in her head. I’ve got the scars to show for it. Was there something in my childhood that made me prone to this? No woman should blame herself when she becomes a victim. But it’s hard not to wonder if I may have invited the harm in some way… With prayer, I’m healing. Good Lord willing, I may even grow in understanding.
Thanks for reading this and thank you for telling my story.
Your friend,
Miriam
P.S. Yes, please share this on your blog, if you care to. Your readers who know my story (and other stories like mine) might have some good things to say. I will be eager to read any wise advice.
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Miriam Winslow is a fictional character, but many readers have taken an interest is her possible future. Information on her background may be found in the novel Our Orbit by Anesa Miller. You are invited to explore Miriam’s past adventures and help create her future on this blog under “Letters from Miriam.”